This is a civil society. The civility of Hungarians is one of the first characteristics that impressed me.
Pass any Hungarian in an enclosed space – a stairwell or a lift – and you'll receive a greeting 'Good day'. Enter any small shop and you'll receive the same greeting from the shopkeeper, plus 'How can I help you?' and on leaving 'Goodbye'. Travel on a tram and you'll soon witness a teenager – without prompting – keenly give up their seat to an elderly person.
Hungarians are aware of one another and of their responsibilities to each other. The social interplay may be a ritual, but a Hungarian would feel uncomfortable if the proper acknowledgements weren't made.
I have no doubt this dignified display of human respect has a long and ancient history, like the Hungarians themselves. For centuries the passive victims of rule by foreign forces, Magyars have nevertheless retained a common filial bond, maintained not least through their very individual language.
Of course, there are paradoxes, as in any society. One might expect the characteristics I've described to be reflected in a generously liberal political outlook. Yet the current government – elected with a very large majority – delights in campaigning as 'anti-liberal'.
I'm still too ignorant of Hungarian politics to express a personal view – which might be mixed. But, in this case, Hungary's history surely comes into play. A strong, national-minded government, sceptical of the dilution of Hungarian values by 'internationalists' or 'liberals', is precisely what Hungary has been denied over hundreds of years.
There is opposition too, naturally. In fact, civic action in the form of street demonstrations takes place almost weekly in Budapest. These are well-coralled demonstrations, but also generally good-natured, and often accompanied by a mobile DJ to maintain noise volume and good spirits.
Hungary faces a struggle over several years to overcome a difficult economic situation. There will be dissent over 'anti-liberal' measures designed to address the country's debts. But underlying the to and fro of politics, it seems to me, there remains an instinctive commitment to civil society. Times are tough, and Hungarians have no option but to submit to this reality. But the common dignity and resilience of this community is what I believe will eventually pull Hungary through. This is a very civil society.
Observant readers will note I've suggested only one characteristic that makes Hungary 'special' (and apologies for going 'political'). This leaves endless scope for considering many more.
So what makes Hungary special for you?
Sunday, 30 October 2011
What's special about Hungary?
Posted by Jeremy at 22:49
Labels: civil society, good manners, Hungary
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11 Comments:
I am afraid, you totally get it wrong. We are by no means polite, nor do we often give up our seats to elderly people or pay attention to other people's needs. On the contrary, we don't pull together at all and we are much selfish, impatient and often rude.
Elderly people fight ferociously for seats when getting on public transport, only to play the 'I'm-a-poor-old-man-with-bad-health' act should they not get one. We are generally arrogant with strangers.
Welcome to Eastern Europe.
Well, I won't argue with your opinion, which is no doubt from years of observation. All I can say is: 'Have you been to London lately?' Being my previous city, this is the comparison I make.
The idea that arriving doctor's patients would communally greet all those waiting, then say goodbye to all when they left - and receive a response - would be fantasy in London, which is now a very disparate city.
It's true I've focused on the best of Magyar attitudes. I'm a guest here - it's rude to insult one's host! If I understood the language (after másfél év study I can't), I might better appreciate what's actually going on.
Nevertheless, I speak as I find. And I do try to promote the positive. How else will society improve?
-- Jeremy (the editor)
Dear Anonymous,
Please speak for yourself, try living in Toronto or any other major North American city and then compare. I agree with the article writer, Hungarians tend to be very polite and I see people giving up their seats to the elderly almost every day, with the exception of the evening crowd on the 4,6 tram.
Andrew
Are you on drugs?
I have been in Budapest for almost 2 years.
Most of the days I do not receive a "Good morning" and when I say it usually I get back a "hmmm" .
It has happen to me only 1 time to get in a shop and be greeted with a smile and a "How can I help you?" (last May in Camaieu in Arkad shopping mall- I still remember).
People here not only do not give their sits to elder people but it has happen to me that I stand up for an elder lady to sit but because it takes her time to understand what I say to her and to move, another young guy takes the seat.
I could continue for ages but I guess you see my point. Hungarians (or more specially people in Budapest) can be very nice and polite after they get to know you (friends, colleagues etc) however when they just interact with you in public space they are the rudest people I have ever met.
Ioanna.
Dear Mr. T,
Are you off your medication or did you just get out of a mental health institue? GO HOME.
Ioanna,
What types of people are you interavting with? I have enver experienced this sort or rudeness here, ever. There is some people who are not as polite as tehy should be but the average Hungarian I have found to be exceptionally polite. Most of the rudeness I have encountered is from foreigners or tourists. Remember, your perception of others is a reflection of you.
Dave
Hi Jeremy
Thank you for your views on Hungary, it's good to see someone who tries to see the good side of things. And I (as a Hungarian living in London) know what you mean about people greeting each other, or giving up seats for others. Although politically the situation is very complicated, but hopefully it will pass. At the end of the day everyone in Hungary and in the whole world just wants to be happy, and wants a safe, and just world, where you have a home, secure job, a happy family and some friends to have a glass of wine with occasionally.
Welcome to Hungary.
Tamas
Thanks, Tamas.
(The Editor)
Hungarians in essence are very polite, even too much so. I remember when I started working here, I'd meet a person several times during the day and always had to say HI. When I moved here I remember being very surprised how everyone said sorry on the tram if they pushed you or stepped on your toes. Unfortunately I do feel this is changing and that is not only the case in Hungary. people just care less and less about another person. I've had a pleasure of an elderly lady yelling at me on the tram when I was 8 months pregnant because I dared to take the seat she thought was hers. I've also had a pleasure just recently, to ride a BKV boat, where a woman told me not to sit on the bench with my 16 months old, because that is her seat. And then she sat down and put her dog in her lap and enjoyed the ride but continued to thow looks at me like I was the rude one:)
I agree with the blog comments but would like to point out that Budapest is not particularly representative of Hungary as a whole. It would be the same as judging Britain solely on ones experiences in London. I live in a village in the south west of Hungary and there the people are very polite, even small children. I don't think our buses get full enough for people to be without a seat but I'm sure younger people do have consideration and respect for the elderly.
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